Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies or biggest critics. Having this mentality can induce feelings of anxiety, fear, and often professional depression.  Oftentimes anxiety associated with being an educator can swallow you up. It can come literally 24/7. The high levels of anxiety and stress can almost feel like being rolled into a ball or like you’ve just gone 12 rounds with Ali. These feelings can simply be the result of the onslaught of making major decisions, having difficult conversations, responding to emergency situations, or a result of a violent response. Oftentimes this onslaught of anxiety can come at the worst possible times.  For myself, this most often has the ability to interrupt my pursuit of being the best husband and father possible in those sometimes limited opportunities that can exist. When we feel saddled with feelings of anxiety or being overwhelmed, how do we most quickly and most effectively escape ourselves before damage is done?  What strategies exist that allow us in that imminent moment of mental collapse to escape to safety? 

The F35 fighter jet is an American-made fighter jet that is capable of top speeds of up to 1200 mph. The nearly 2000 American pilots who are capable of flying these machines spend thousands of hours in training. An extensive part of their training teaches them that at times of immense and imminent danger, it is necessary for the pilot to engage the ejection seat. This seat removes the pilot from life-threatening danger in 4 seconds at a rate of 690 mph. Ejection seats have saved the lives of more than 7,000 pilots since their invention in 1945.

Educators, similar to fighter pilots, can oftentimes find themselves in challenging positions and flying into a mental crash as a result of high levels of trauma and anxiety from stressors of the job. Similar to the pilots of F-35s we must pull the ejection seat. Unfortunately, educators don’t have access to the nearly $240,000 ejection seats that the F-35s are equipped with. This leaves us with a couple of options. We must identify structures and people that exist in our personal lives that can serve as this mental ejection seat in times of high stress and anxiety.  What do we have in our personal lives that we can serve as this mental ejection seat? We know by the sheer nature of the job we do that we will no doubt get to a point where we need to bail out. Therefore we have a responsibility to ourselves, family, and the learning communities we serve to protect ourselves from oftentimes, ourselves. 

Proper Ejection Seats – People or Actions?

One way we can protect ourselves in our personal lives from the anxiety and trauma of the job is to recognize when we’re there. You have to recognize when the feelings of overwhelmed, anxiety, fear, or simply fearing failure get too heavy. They have the ability to simply be crippling. When they get there we must drop everything we’re doing and eject. We must identify those people, tasks, or actions that will provide that mental cleanse. Identifying this in times of clarity is critical for the application in times of mental chaos. 

It’s critical we identify actions or people as we may never know when these feelings may arise and what immediate resources we’ll have access to. The treadmill and physical activity will always serve as my actions. Trauma has the ability to literally be physically stored in our bodies. Engaging in exercise allows your body to release tension and provides your body the mental cleanse it so desperately needs. Physical activity is one of the most surefire universal strategies we can engage in to allow our bodies to release this tension. 

The person that I have designated, though he doesn’t know it, is my oldest son Jonathan. I realized Jonathan was my person one weekend concluding an extremely rough week. I was fresh off of a day of telling someone they didn’t have a job any longer, telling a few kids they weren’t going to graduate on time, and a handful of other just really tough moments through the course of the week. As I sat home picking myself apart, thinking about everything I could’ve done, didn’t do, or could’ve done better, I found myself becoming locked into the anxiety that this job serves. I found myself picking myself apart.  Before I knew it, I was locked in a place I could not escape from. In this moment of mental chaos, I decided to change my location from the kitchen table to my son’s bedroom. As I walked into Jonathan‘s bedroom I simply asked “Hey bud, wanna play some poker?”. One of the things I love about all of my kids is that for the most part anytime I ever ask any of them to do something, they’ll drop what they’re doing and do it immediately. (Unfortunately, this doesn’t include cleaning their bedrooms, raking the lawn, or any other other physical chore.) But I knew at that moment I asked Jonathan if he wanted to play just a quick hand or two of poker that he would instantly jump up and say “Yep!”  As I began stacking up Jonathan’s chips and double-checking the 52 cards for jokers I felt my brain beginning to make a shift.  Jonathan sat down, made a couple of comments about taking my chips and we engaged in a heated game of poker for an hour or so. 

In the end, however, what I really wanted was the opportunity to escape where I was. This moment, though he didn’t know it, Jonathan served as my escape pod. He literally ejected me from the place I was in and brought me to safety. Ultimately Jonathan put me out of the game of poker but helped put me back in the game of life. As I sat at the conclusion of that poker game and reflected on my current mental state I realized I was in a much different place than I was before that game started. I was in a place where I could rationally think about the day, where I calmly reflected.

It was at this moment I realized how critical it is to identify that person or people who can serve as your escape pod. Though they may not even know it, they’re serving as your mental reboot. They’re serving as that hard reset your brain needs to close endless multiple tabs swirling in your head. Who are those people who can take you from where you are and help you get to where you need to be? What are those specific activities that we can engage in that will help wipe the anxiety away so that logical decisions can be made?  If we’re going to effectively combat the effects of anxiety and trauma as educators, we must equip ourselves with the necessary tools that will encourage self-preservation.  One foundational skill is proactively identifying who or what will serve as our escape pods in these moments of mental collapse and chaos.  It is critical we identify these people in our community who can help deliver us to safety. This is an instant ejection seat we need. If we stay in a flight of chaos too long, we may never be able to avoid the crash.