“Won’t you miss the students?”- A Reflection
Written by: Carrie Wisehart
I never wanted to be a principal.
In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I told my husband, my students, my colleagues, and my leaders that I WOULD NEVER GO INTO ADMINISTRATION.
And then there was that day. The day my husband tentatively (allowing considerable space between us during a friendly neighborhood walk) told me he thought, just maybe, I might want to consider it.
And dare I say he was right?
Because he was.
After making my decision, I can’t tell you HOW MANY people asked me the same question.
“Won’t you miss the students?”
There it is. The biggest misinformation about our jobs as administrators. And maybe it is a statement that deserves some explanation. Because here’s the thing:
I don’t remember my high school principal.
I spoke with him once that I recall. Once in the four years I attended my high school. Maybe there were more, but if so, either age or lack of memory has erased it from my mind. And that is not a criticism of my principal. It was just that way.
So whether it is true or not that historically principals aren’t around students — or that it is a BAD THING to go to the principal’s office — that was the FIRST “NORM” I wanted to change.
Good thing for me that the people in my district – my building – were already doing that, working on that, living that.
You see, I got my principal’s license to be around MORE kids. To spend more TIME with kids. To influence MORE lives. To increase my territory. To love on teachers. To serve the staff. To join hands with others in creating a more positive culture. To stretch myself professionally and personally.
To keep myself from becoming comfortable, stagnant, and satisfied.
“Right out of the gate, I was looking for ways to stay connected, limit time behind the desk, prioritize relationships, grow.”
So, the question that came to me from all sides — “Won’t you miss the students?” — came as a challenge to me. Right out of the gate, I was looking for ways to stay connected, limit time behind the desk, prioritize relationships, grow.
For me, this began in my role as a high school associate principal. I immediately began looking for reasons to be around kids MORE. The result was Sticker Friday. Every Friday, I gave out 1000 individual stickers to students entering our high school. This allowed me to have a positive interaction with each student, every week.
Building those relationships helps to balance some of the difficult conversations we must have with kids and parents. When students trust administrators, they can see that we want what is best for them – even when the outcome is not fun.
Although we, as educators, often comment that “You can’t understand our roles unless you are in them,” we can’t use that as an excuse to complain about the way people perceive us. After the “miss students” comment — the next one was, “Oh, I was never in the principal’s office. I never got in trouble.”
Another challenge.
For me, discipline is an honor. I get to sit with students in some of their most difficult moments. It is a privilege to show care and concern even when I have to give them a consequence. But the office isn’t just about discipline. We have the opportunity to create friendly, safe spaces for students to come for time outs, breaks, or maybe just to cool off. At my middle school, we hand out Positive Office Referrals, giving teachers the opportunity to send kids down to the office for GOOD REASONS.
Being a principal is more than the stereotype we remember from after-school specials or old 80s movies (Ferris Bueller, anyone?). In fact, the scope of our responsibility extends beyond that – we serve the tribe of students, staff, and teachers who work in our buildings. I take this responsibility seriously and love every minute of it. I understand that learning is the primary goal, and I must make every effort to ensure that I lead in a way that gives others the chance to grow!
I will never forget sitting in my office with a student. He was clearly upset, and I had to give him a discipline neither of us enjoyed. But as he got up to leave, he mumbled under his breath: “I guess you’re pretty good at your job.”
That made me giggle. But it also helped me reflect. HOW we discipline is just as important as WHAT. How we treat kids in the process of discipline is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than the discipline they are given. You see, learning about the behavior EXPLAINS it. It doesn’t EXCUSE it, but it helps us understand. We all have trauma and hurt. Our behaviors are the stories we tell about those things. I always need to listen to those stories.
“The privilege we, as administrators, have to work with and help grow alongside people is mammoth.”
The privilege we, as administrators, have to work with and help grow alongside people is mammoth. And I don’t take it for granted – not one minute.
It’s super cool to be in a position to lend support not only to students, but to teachers and coaches who need to be SEEN – to be RECOGNIZED for the crazy hard work that they do. That’s our job as administrators:
SEE PEOPLE.
There is so much more I could say – and I’m sure much more will be written in the days and years to come. All I know is that I have asked countless teachers to hold me accountable for this: I never want to forget the 22 years I spent as a teacher. I want to remember what it was like to walk in those shoes when I make decisions and love on people.
The adventure has ONLY JUST BEGUN.
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